{ married at nineteen }

Most people wonder why I chose this life so young. I can’t blame you for wondering, I mean most people these days definitely don’t get married 3 months before their twentieth birthday…and honestly, about a year ago I sat on my apartment floor and had a long discussion with my two best friends about how we probably weren’t getting married for at least 4 years, and we couldn’t even think of being married anytime soon. I seem to remember exclaiming multiple times, “If I’m too young to be trusted with alcohol, I’m too young to be trusted with a marriage!” And at the time, that seemed right. At that particular stage in my life, it was probably true. But I forgot how quickly a person can change when placed under proper circumstances. I was having the time of my life with the best friends a girl could ask for, living “young and wild and free,” as we liked to say. I felt no real need to change.

Probably not even a week after that conversation with my friends, I went on a date with a boy (okay no, he was 24, so a man). After only a few dates, I was pretty much sold. He had this light in his eyes that I had never seen in anyone before and a genuine, fundamental goodness that I didn’t even know could exist. He was sweet and funny and kind (not to mention ridiculously good-looking), and I simply couldn’t stay away. Within a month or so, I was starting to seriously think that he was the boy with whom I wanted to spend forever. But those were crazy thoughts, right? I was barely 19! My mom was sure to remind me of that every time I mentioned anything to her that even smelled like marriage. Of course, James and I had never even come close to discussing such things. I loved him, but I would never be the first to admit it. I had to wait for him to realize he loved me too. So I waited. One month turned into four, and I felt I had been waiting an eternity. By this time, I knew I only wanted to be with James, and I had gotten more and more used to the idea of marriage. He was graduating in another four months and moving to San Francisco for a job, so I knew if I didn’t marry him I would lose him. Well, somehow I convinced him to take a leap of faith on me. A few weeks before Christmas, he finally told me he loved me and he didn’t ever want to be with anyone else. He wanted to marry me. From that moment on, marrying him was pretty much the only thing on my mind. It took some serious convincing to get my mom on board, but as soon as she met James, she knew she couldn’t say no. The prospect of marriage was no longer some scary, insane idea for the far-distant future, it was all I wanted. I had taken the time to allow my heart to be changed, and after countless prayers and fears assuaged by heavenly messengers, I was ready. I knew our decision to get married was the right decision.

So I got married when I was nineteen. And honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I have the opportunity to spend most of my life (and some of my most trying and refining years) with my absolute best friend. I get to grow with him in ways I wouldn’t have had I waited four years to get married. And now I know without a doubt what true happiness is. It’s waking up to your favorite face every single morning, being the recipient of more kisses than you know what to do with, always having a hand to hold, and planning the family you hope to build in the future. It’s discovering your husband in the kitchen at 9pm smothering cookie butter on the waffles he just made for you. It’s tickle fights, endless hours of laughter, and knowing that your future children are in the best of hands. And ultimately, it’s knowing that you’ve been sealed for time and all eternity to the love of your life, and he will never be taken away from you.

Happiness is to love and be loved completely and without end.

Marriage is hard, and scary, and I’ll be the first to admit I have no clue what I’m doing. I left behind my family and friends and the best education anyone could hope to gain. But in doing so, the Lord has provided me with so much more than I ever dreamed. I’ve been blessed beyond compare, and all my worries and concerns are being resolved one by one.

I’ve truly never been happier.

Look at this hunk that I get all to myself! Wow.