{ married at nineteen }

Most people wonder why I chose this life so young. I can’t blame you for wondering, I mean most people these days definitely don’t get married 3 months before their twentieth birthday…and honestly, about a year ago I sat on my apartment floor and had a long discussion with my two best friends about how we probably weren’t getting married for at least 4 years, and we couldn’t even think of being married anytime soon. I seem to remember exclaiming multiple times, “If I’m too young to be trusted with alcohol, I’m too young to be trusted with a marriage!” And at the time, that seemed right. At that particular stage in my life, it was probably true. But I forgot how quickly a person can change when placed under proper circumstances. I was having the time of my life with the best friends a girl could ask for, living “young and wild and free,” as we liked to say. I felt no real need to change.

Probably not even a week after that conversation with my friends, I went on a date with a boy (okay no, he was 24, so a man). After only a few dates, I was pretty much sold. He had this light in his eyes that I had never seen in anyone before and a genuine, fundamental goodness that I didn’t even know could exist. He was sweet and funny and kind (not to mention ridiculously good-looking), and I simply couldn’t stay away. Within a month or so, I was starting to seriously think that he was the boy with whom I wanted to spend forever. But those were crazy thoughts, right? I was barely 19! My mom was sure to remind me of that every time I mentioned anything to her that even smelled like marriage. Of course, James and I had never even come close to discussing such things. I loved him, but I would never be the first to admit it. I had to wait for him to realize he loved me too. So I waited. One month turned into four, and I felt I had been waiting an eternity. By this time, I knew I only wanted to be with James, and I had gotten more and more used to the idea of marriage. He was graduating in another four months and moving to San Francisco for a job, so I knew if I didn’t marry him I would lose him. Well, somehow I convinced him to take a leap of faith on me. A few weeks before Christmas, he finally told me he loved me and he didn’t ever want to be with anyone else. He wanted to marry me. From that moment on, marrying him was pretty much the only thing on my mind. It took some serious convincing to get my mom on board, but as soon as she met James, she knew she couldn’t say no. The prospect of marriage was no longer some scary, insane idea for the far-distant future, it was all I wanted. I had taken the time to allow my heart to be changed, and after countless prayers and fears assuaged by heavenly messengers, I was ready. I knew our decision to get married was the right decision.

So I got married when I was nineteen. And honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I have the opportunity to spend most of my life (and some of my most trying and refining years) with my absolute best friend. I get to grow with him in ways I wouldn’t have had I waited four years to get married. And now I know without a doubt what true happiness is. It’s waking up to your favorite face every single morning, being the recipient of more kisses than you know what to do with, always having a hand to hold, and planning the family you hope to build in the future. It’s discovering your husband in the kitchen at 9pm smothering cookie butter on the waffles he just made for you. It’s tickle fights, endless hours of laughter, and knowing that your future children are in the best of hands. And ultimately, it’s knowing that you’ve been sealed for time and all eternity to the love of your life, and he will never be taken away from you.

Happiness is to love and be loved completely and without end.

Marriage is hard, and scary, and I’ll be the first to admit I have no clue what I’m doing. I left behind my family and friends and the best education anyone could hope to gain. But in doing so, the Lord has provided me with so much more than I ever dreamed. I’ve been blessed beyond compare, and all my worries and concerns are being resolved one by one.

I’ve truly never been happier.

Look at this hunk that I get all to myself! Wow.

{ gratitude }

It seems I’ll never stop learning this powerful lesson. As we sleep on a noisy, uncomfortable air mattress every night in a mostly empty apartment that desperately needs to be cleaned, I find myself so full of gratitude to be here, on an adventure of a lifetime with my very best friend in a city most people only dream of visiting. It’s crazy how very little material things really matter in the grand scheme of things. Not that I’m ungrateful for such things…they definitely make life easier. But for the next month, as we sleep on the floor, miss our vacuum and swiffer, try to find a way to make everything fit in this little studio, and slowly try to build our food supply, I’ll be feeling grateful for the life of convenience that I’ve always been so blessed to live. It’s nice to go without some things (even for just a month while you await the arrival of all your stuff) so that you can appreciate everything that you’ve always taken for granted. With these things in mind, I’m even more grateful for my marriage, because I know that no matter how much I may lose throughout my life, I get to keep James forever.

{ quirks. }

This is a funny city. Here’s what I’ve learned so far about San Francisco:

-More homeless people than I’ve ever seen. (I have a small fear of the homeless that I assure you is not irrational…)

-You have to pay for bags at every grocery store. And they’re all paper. (I’m all about recycling, but I wish I had known this before hitting up the grocery store for the first time.)

-It’s cold. Counterintuitive for August (or Fogust, as it’s called here). Half the time I’m begging for another sweater, half the time I’m sweating. Sheesh, I can’t keep up.

-You can almost always hear the trolley outside our window. As a result, this song is constantly stuck in my head.

-It feels like I climb mountains every time I venture outside. My butt better start looking chiseled…

-Gorgeous peeks at the ocean from almost anywhere.

-My love for Victorian style architecture is flourishing here!

-New York taxi drivers aren’t the only crazy ones.

-Everyone here seems very fit (hard not to be with all the hills and lack of parking).

-So. Many. Restaurants. If you’re a foodie like me, this is heaven! But it’s also not, because I can’t afford to try these places out. For now, it’s kind of torture, but I’m hoping that will change…

Obviously I still have lots more to learn and do and see. For a girl who was born and raised to love New York and all its glory, this has definitely been a new experience for me. James is so patient as I compare everything to how things are in New York (I miss the subway!)…but in all honestly, I think this could be the beginning of a very long and fruitful love affair with this city. It’s different, but that’s what I’m all about!

{ birthday! }

The husband spoiled me on our first birthday as a married couple. He knows what makes me happy, that’s for sure!

Let’s talk about mango lemonade, burritos as big as my head, Monsters University, long walks through the city, gelatos in Little Italy, oceanside views of Alcatraz and the Golden Gate Bridge, more food, plenty of birthday kisses, no scary encounters with homeless people (always nice), donuts, gift card expenditure, the list goes on…

Most importantly, I got to spend the entire day with my favorite person. I didn’t even need to make a wish on those birthday candles.

{ san francisco }

Well, world, if you haven’t heard, James and I have relocated to San Francisco! The plan is to document our adventures in this happening city. We’ll see how it goes…in the five days we’ve been here, I’ve already seen two transvestites, smelled some of the nastiest smells known to man (welcome to Chinatown), and had a homeless man “shoot” me with his fingers (colorful sound effects and all). Not sure if I should be flattered or offended about that one.

Here in our tiny apartment in the middle of the city, anything could happen. Stay tuned. I’m sure there’s more to come!

{ the perfect day }

May 4^th 2013

It was the day I had been dreaming about since before I can remember.

Bright sun.

Perfect flowers.

A princess dress.

Precious loved ones smiling, hugging, and cheering.

Beautiful decorations.

Dancing.

Yummy food.

Laughter.

Bubbles, lots of bubbles…

But what I remember most is the feeling of perfect bliss that I couldn’t shake the entire day. I still can’t shake it. I don’t think I ever will. Everything could have gone wrong. It could have rained, my friends could have decided not to come, the food could have been disgusting, my dress could have ripped, and we could have gotten zero gifts, but it would have been okay. Because one way or another, on May 4th, I went to the temple, where I was sealed for time and all eternity to my very best friend and the sweetest, kindest, most talented, handsome, fun, and loving man I’ve ever known. Over three months later, I can still hardly believe how blessed I am.

He’s the best decision I’ve ever made.

…still getting used to being called Mrs. Pace, though…